To Salvation for its seventh birthday bash…

I haven’t been clubbing somewhere like Salvation for many a month. Hanging around the RVT is not quite the same thing. After paying £20 to get in, I wondered to what purpose for us punters that money was put.

It looked much the same as ever, although the crowd seemed a little less edgy than perhaps I once remembered.

My memory was stretched too when it came to bringing to mind all those club protocols of which to be aware. In no particular order:

1. Find a spot to dance.
2. Then, after a while, be persuaded that the other side of the club has a better spot. Find oneself wondering why my dancing partner did not go around the edge of the dancefloor, but through the crowd
3. Realise that this is a strategy to meet a few people and, amidst the thumping beats, be introduced to friends of friends.
4. Get asked the same thing ‘Are you having a good time’? Must realise that the correct response is not to deconstruct the venue, but to say, brightly and with a smile ‘YES!’
5. Find myself wondering whether I have the memory of a goldfish. New names are in one ear and out the next. Save embarrassment by calling everyone ‘darling’.
6. Realise that ‘darling’ generally goes down well, but not with some overly moody types who would have preferred something a little more macho
7. Ask my dancing partner what the £20 was for. He points to a couple of go-go dancers., one dressed in vinyl, the other in, well, expanded polystyrene loops got up to look like a beach outfit. Each wearing platforms that would not have been out of place in Taboo.
8. Consider whether things have moved on in clubland since the 80s
9. Wonder whether this does indeed justify the door charge
10. Then get taking on a brief tour around the club. Bump into some people I had sex with years ago – they don’t recognise me. Then they do. It takes a while
11. Then get taken on the ‘grand tour’ of the club – ostensibly to search for friends missing. The ‘grand tour’ involves going both through and around the dancefloor
12. Wonder whether I would be as irritated by long hair being flicked at me if it was sported by men rather than women
13. Look around at the haircuts and realise I will be unable to test out this idea
14. Spend some time dancing to show that I am indeed having a good time. One has to be seen to enjoy oneself rather than just say it
15. After a couple of hours or so head off home via the RVT. Wonder why I had not heard that remix of ‘I Promised Myself’
16. Find myself back in the 80s