Red wine and MSG

Had a great time last night with Jonathan. We went for a Thai, but I'd quite forgotten that ....


PLUS









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Next time, I'm suggesting he come to Vauxhall and we try out the Bonnington Cafe . No MSG and if you want wine, you bring your own...

David Sedaris ...

... is one of my favourite authors at the moment. It was quite by accident, or a Freudian slip of the mouse, that I ended up sending a copy of 'Dress Your Family in Cordorouy and Denim' to my father.

With him being a retired Church of England vicar, with strongly held views about sexuality and the conduct of sexual relationships, I was worried that he'd be insulted or embarrassed by the book's arrival.

I complained to Amazon.com but they assured me I had indeed purchased it by way of 'one-click'. It was hard to argue, they seemed certain, and as I'm often rummaging around Amazon for this and that, I couldn't be certain I had not unknowingly made the order.

I rang my father yesterday, and he seemed more disappointed that I had not sent him the book on purpose - and a little put out that I appeared to be asking for it back. He's going to read it. And he informed me that there are 'quite a few programmes on television these days about homosexuality. There were two only this week' and added, 'We think it's important to watch them.'

I didn't ask about the programmes as our history of talking about (homo) sexuality has often led to more than a few heated words.

But, I was reminded about the importance of chance in the ways that relationships develop. Had the book not been ordered, I may have found out later rather than sooner that there's a degree of difference in the way he is thinking about same-sex relationships. Or, at the very least, is more open to thinking or learning something about them even if his conclusions remain the same.

There's a good account of the value of chance in the development of relationships in Howard Becker's 'Tricks of the Trade. How to Think About Your Research While You're Doing It' - from which, here's an excerpt from the University of Chicago Press.

Wearing a nicotine patch in a sauna ...

... seems not to be a good idea despite the advice of some. My mate, just in from a sunday afternoon sauna, felt ill while being in there and wearing one. Unfortunate that those who have written guidance for sites that say it is safe, and here's another link, have not taken on board the findings from this article.

Weather presenters

When we are being presented with the weather we are told it is going to be 'glorious' or 'wonderful' on sunny days. I prefer my weather to be inclement, or at least cloudy with some wind, a sprinkling of rain and the occasional sunburst.

But I never hear my sort of weather being described as wonderful - which I often feel it is when I'm walking in a spring or autumn shower.

Redheads

In The Independent today, an article about Redheaded women have the genes to conquer the pain barrier got me thinking.

Why is it that people laugh, almost automatically, at jokes about redheaded people - in much the same way they routinely laugh at fat people?

A year or so ago, I was at a conference at which invited delegates (health and other professionals) were consulted to identify the key issues that should be included in the Dept of Health White Paper, 'Choosing Health'. Obesity was an issue being talked about.

A video about obesity was shown. The first images were of an overweight mother and her daughter. Among the audience (of professionals, mind) a number of people laughed at what they saw and then, realising this was inappropriate, stifled themselves. Still, their initial reaction was telling.

But, back to redheads.

My sister, who is much more of redhead than I, was pleased when I sent her details of Red and Proud. She was teased, for many years, about having red hair. It was harmful.

I still feel uncertain, when watching TV with friends and a joke about redheads comes on, whether to laugh along, complain or ignore.

I don't think these jokes have the same impact as racism, sexism, or homophobia. After all, being joked about is not the same as being physically assaulted for being Black, a woman or lesbian or gay.

But, nonetheless, jokes about redheads feel insidious. A way of harming people's self-esteem and emotional well-being. The tales told about being a redhead on Red and Proud testify to this.

Gaydar

A study, I think it was by Jonathan Elford's team at City University, has noted that around 50% of gay men on the London scene who have completed a survey are also on the internet.

Probably chiefly on gaydar I should think - (that 50% includes me, chiefly to keep up with mates these days).

Gay men still tend to meet their partners in 'traditional' settings. As Elford and his team state:

" This puts the Internet in context. It's an extra place that gay men use to meet casual partners, but it is not the only place. Nor is it the most popular place. Most London gay men still prefer to meet men for casual sex in bars and clubs.
" The key implication of our research is that Internet-based sexual health interventions should take into account the fact that most gay men meet their casual partners offline rather than online. While we welcome Internet based initiatives promoting safe sex, such health campaigns must target men also using the traditional 'gay scene', that is bars, clubs, and saunas." (ref)

Stealth

Went to see Stealth last night. Seems to have got panned by critics, but I loved the rather mindless explosions. And, I can't complain about any film I go to see at Peckham Multiplex. Any seat, for any day of the week at any time is just £3.50.

And for the first person who tells me who played the North Korean guard and what other films he's been in - a special prize of a ticket to Peckham Multiplex is on offer LOL

Brighton Pride

Was at Brighton Pride this weekend. Last time I went was about eight years ago. It's changed. Bigger. Much bigger. But still very well organised.

Given that I grew up with the Gala, now Feast and Fayre in Darrington a small village in West Yorkshire, I'm not convinced that bigger is better.

The Feast and Fayre started as a few stalls, annually getting grander before ending one year with sky divers landing in the village field. It was then that some members the Parish Council realised that it was turning from a local community event into something less warm, less friendly and too showy.

In London, people have fond memories of the first Summer Rites in 1996 in Kennington Park, London. I remember people saying that, once more, they had a London, local event. Then the obsession with size and with excess. And I don't hear too many positive comments any longer about Pride/Mardi Gras in London.

Depp vs Wilder - Burton vs Stuart

Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory
vs
Charlie and the Chocolate Factory ?

Best keep a critical eye on the original material Burton and Stuart had to work with...

View or read in the light of these comments: Caveat Lector (abuse of worker's generally), and Vitia (child labour abuse in developing countries in particular).

Shuttleworth & Hill

Just got tickets for John Shuttleworth at the Bloomsbury (4th Oct) and Harry Hill at Richmond Theatre (19th October). Advantage of booking far ahead? Good seats. Disadvantage? Unanticipated events that mean I can't go to the show.

Happened last time for a show at the Barbican. Two tickets still in my drawer.

When I see empty seats in a crowded theatre, I always wonder about the stories behind those unfilled places? Who were they? What happened to them? Are they bothered about missing the show? Do they ever wonder that someone is wondering about them?

Starting over

It's been a long time. Plenty of material has been kept in my diary but too much personal stuff. Like David Sedaris I should find a way to make the personal pubic. He writes well, is funny, and I'm sad when I get to the end of a story. I liked 'Dress Your Family in... ' best

Light fiction helps when managing one's way through the spooky London transport system. Tube journeys are down 5-15% during weekdays, 30% weekends. I'm going overground and bus today.

Friend decided to get a motorbike as it would be safer to travel around London on. Greater freedom? Yes. Use less petrol? Yes. Nip through traffic? Yes.

Safer?

1. Motorcyclists represent a large proportion of road casualties in relation to their numbers. They make up around 1% of road traffic, but suffer around 18% of deaths and serious injuries
   (KSIs).
2. Motorcyclists remain the most vulnerable road users. They are 30 times
   more likely to be killed than car users and 4 times more likely to be killed than
   cyclists. LINK

Still, actual probabilities mean little when there are distressing and unpredictable outcomes to consider