Revels ...

My flatmate, Leon, and I have found an advert that worked. Wanting, too, to face the challenge of the unwanted centre, we got some Revels.

This got us talking about the flavours. My flatmate's boyfriend, who grew up in Poland, got stuck at three - although he did mention 'raisin' which was either a fortunate guess or gave the game away that he was a relatively recent taster.

Leon and I both got six, but both included peanuts and I was sure there was a seventh - coconut. After some research, it's clear that others have carried out an examination of Revels with a greater degree of enterprise than we could muster from our sitting room sofas - that study having a concern to examine the numbers and distribution of types of sweets per bag. However, the research was underaken prior to the exchange of peanut with raisin - this substitution coming in for a not insignificant degree of criticism.

As for coconut? Well, my memory proved correct, it used to be included (when was it removed I wonder?) They should stop messing around with our coconut sweets - whatever happened to that cardboard tray that held the bounty bar duo so snugly?

My favourite? Well, it was coconut. But now I settle for the comparatively rare coffee creme - it's a perverse pleasure, which suits me. Leon's favourite is the chocolate one, got up to look like a naked minstrel, and he's most happy avoiding the coffee cremes. My least favourite? The toffee. While called 'fudge' on the packet, it's rather too solid for that and I worry about my fillings.

To Blackheath to see...

... the Chinese State Circus, with Jonathan, Martin and Winston. Brilliant. We had ringside seats and able to catch the eye of one or two Shaolin Warriors. Amazing acts and acrobatics - and, thankfully, not a clown in sight.

Freedoms

After deciding that I'd trust the Talk Test Test Trust aproach to safer sex, I'm currently not using condoms with the guy I'm seeing. When I was, I never much liked the range of condoms that Freedoms had to offer and didn't use the site.

But, with my nearby lube shop 'The Host' now closed, I was scouting around for another supplier. The cheapest lube in town is from Freedoms and, if you use a lot and buy in litres, getting 4 x250ml of silicone based lube from Freedoms is still cheaper than the 'offers' of 1L on other sites.

The service is good too - easy to use site and, er, it comes quickly. Stuff ordered at 12noon on the Tues arrived in Weds post. Recommended.

To Richmond Theatre ...

... to see Harry Hill. First thing I noticed - Harry looked somewhat thinner than on TV. I was somewhat concerned about his health, then realised that widescreen TV puts on kilos.

After an hour and a half, I felt he's probably better with a tightly edited script and 30 mins to hand.

To Peckham Multiplex ...

… to see Kinky Boots, The Curse of the Were-Rabbit and Serenity. Best out of the bunch was Serenity.

Chiwetel Ejiofor is getting about these days. I rather wish the roles he played in Serenity and Kinky Boots had got muddled together.

I wonder whether this is evidence for the Oompah-Loompahs?

To Salvation for its seventh birthday bash…

I haven’t been clubbing somewhere like Salvation for many a month. Hanging around the RVT is not quite the same thing. After paying £20 to get in, I wondered to what purpose for us punters that money was put.

It looked much the same as ever, although the crowd seemed a little less edgy than perhaps I once remembered.

My memory was stretched too when it came to bringing to mind all those club protocols of which to be aware. In no particular order:

1. Find a spot to dance.
2. Then, after a while, be persuaded that the other side of the club has a better spot. Find oneself wondering why my dancing partner did not go around the edge of the dancefloor, but through the crowd
3. Realise that this is a strategy to meet a few people and, amidst the thumping beats, be introduced to friends of friends.
4. Get asked the same thing ‘Are you having a good time’? Must realise that the correct response is not to deconstruct the venue, but to say, brightly and with a smile ‘YES!’
5. Find myself wondering whether I have the memory of a goldfish. New names are in one ear and out the next. Save embarrassment by calling everyone ‘darling’.
6. Realise that ‘darling’ generally goes down well, but not with some overly moody types who would have preferred something a little more macho
7. Ask my dancing partner what the £20 was for. He points to a couple of go-go dancers., one dressed in vinyl, the other in, well, expanded polystyrene loops got up to look like a beach outfit. Each wearing platforms that would not have been out of place in Taboo.
8. Consider whether things have moved on in clubland since the 80s
9. Wonder whether this does indeed justify the door charge
10. Then get taking on a brief tour around the club. Bump into some people I had sex with years ago – they don’t recognise me. Then they do. It takes a while
11. Then get taken on the ‘grand tour’ of the club – ostensibly to search for friends missing. The ‘grand tour’ involves going both through and around the dancefloor
12. Wonder whether I would be as irritated by long hair being flicked at me if it was sported by men rather than women
13. Look around at the haircuts and realise I will be unable to test out this idea
14. Spend some time dancing to show that I am indeed having a good time. One has to be seen to enjoy oneself rather than just say it
15. After a couple of hours or so head off home via the RVT. Wonder why I had not heard that remix of ‘I Promised Myself’
16. Find myself back in the 80s